The Decease Pillsbury Doughboy

The Death of The Pillsbury Doughboy comes as a shock

He had been poked in the stomach and became hard as rock

Exposure to a yeast infection is what done him in

Dangerously rising while he was baking

Exceptional he was in business takeovers

Could mould mergers and effect hostile turnovers

Eager to satisfy, he was a friend in knead

And by his actions too, a friend in deed

Smart cookie he was and in business rose

Eclipsing the competition which he early deposed

Parading for years in only a bakers cap

It’s surprising wear for such a crusty chap

Lucrative business ventures and a few half baked schemes

Loading him with Dough and for his heirs this means

Such inheritance their lives are already set

But the executors can’t find the claimants yet

Unable to determine from the many John Doughs

Relatives can’t find anyone who truly knows

Yet he bequeathed all his possession to his daughter and son

Didn’t find which Jane Dough either was the one

Our contacts disclosed that Play Dough’s infidelity

United her with many creating this uncertainty

Gets worst to learn there is a bun in the oven

Horrendous what a tangled web they have woven

But word has it that his old dad Pop Tart

Organized DNA testing to set the imposters apart

You are cordially invited to his ceremony

  Send you flours to us with your testimony